Settling Into Routine
It’s been 30 full days since I uprooted my life, moved to DC, decided to move back *into* my parents’ house in NJ so that I could keep my job in NYC (but more importantly keep my team) and i finally today went for my first morning run since moving. What this has meant for me:
- Tacking on an almost 2 hour door to door commute each way daily
- 3.25 hours on a train 2x week to/from DC
- scattered belongings in 2 places (sometimes 3 counting the office)
- i wear the same 5 things every week (because that’s what i have on rotation in my closet because I am trying to “schlep” as little as possible)
- I do my makeup on the bus. I eat breakfast on the bus. I write on the bus. I take calls from the bus. I pretty much do everything I can to fill up this time productively.
- Staying in hotels for NYC races since i no longer have my apartment.
It sounds like a lot of complaining. Don’t get me wrong, a LOT of great things have come from this decision:
- I get to call Tae’s home my own. And we get to start making it a home together
- I am spending so much more time with my parents. Note to anyone older than 25 considering this - it is NOT easy. You’re in their home. So the 10pm silent bedtime routine you were once used to, not happening if your dad is watching a movie. I’m not about to tell my 57 year old father he can’t watch TV (LOL he’d laugh at me) because I need to sleep. Again, it’s their house. BUT, if you have a solid relationship with your parents, the good will outweigh the bad every day. Like:
- waking up to fresh juice and coffee (RIP, now tea)
- coming home to dinner (delicious dinner - mom’s cooking!)
- having your laundry done (yes I’m 31; no I’m not going to lie and pretend that my mom isn’t now doing my laundry when she’s throwing a load in!)
- shopping mom’s closet (and it’s a good closet!)
- laughing each morning as my mom drops me at the bus stop with less than 30 seconds to spare because some things truly haven’t changed since HS.
- living with your wedding planner (fun fact: my dad has always worked in hospitality. He helped my brother with his wedding; now he’s helping us with ours!)
- seeing my (fairy) godmother aunt and uncle almost weekly, my second parents who teach me so much just by being.
- coping with my family as we navigate my grandmother’s dementia - because at least we can navigate it together.
- and lastly, i am surrounded by animals. In another life, i would have been a veterinarian. I thought I’d pursue it in college and step-changed. Part of me regrets it because I just love animals so much. But most of me doesn’t ever regret anything. So now I’ll just have 5 dogs, cats, horses and chickens (see above “making tae’s home my home”)
so here I am 30 days later. I joined a local gym in NJ so mom and I can go when I’m home from work to swim; I’ve tried a local orange theory class (wrote about that here); I went for my morning run today, the first since I’ve moved to NJ (wrote about it here) and discovered an unknown route that i can’t wait to run down.
Tonight, I went to a Peloton class. Because I simply needed to work out in an NYC Studio, with New Yorkers, and BEFORE starting my 2 hour commute home. And you know what? It was glorious.
Sure i may have done 3 workouts in the last 24 hours . But this is where I need to be. It doesn’t exhaust me; in fact it energizes me. And for the last 29 days I’ve been blaming my commute for my unhappiness but realized I needed to harnass my happiness and do what I know brings it out. And that is simply to move. To have “me” time. Shout out to my fellow fitness buddy Darnisa who gave me a nice little Insta-chat pep talk last night about finding oneself while commuting! She has a damn Ph.D, competes in triathlons, and is an all around bad ass athlete while also pursuing an academia-focused life. Not for the faint of heart, mind or body
(Side note: She also motivated me to try Peloton- and I LOVED it. No wonder why they sell those bikes. It’s unlike any spin bike I’ve ever tried, and now i want one. Add it to the above list of chickens/dogs/horses. Sorry Tae!)
Do I miss running in Central Park or along the East River? You bet. Every day. Do I need to be hyper focused at work because I have a shorter day? Absolutely.
I miss seeing friends for workout classes and dinners to follow without having to worry if I’ll miss the bus only to wait another hour for the next.
But I know some day I’ll miss the gym jaunts with my parents. The dinners with just the three of us before I’m married in November. Waking up to a tap on my face because Haz the cat wants me to pet her. I’ll miss working in New York I’m sure. I’ll miss my “me” time! I’ll miss my routine. And just like I’ve proven I’ve done this week, I’ll have to find a new one. But for now, I’m reveling in the one I finally have. (And in these pictures my mom started taking after my swim last night - because if all else fails, laugh and have fun.)
And now I’m off to have pizza with my family who have been waiting for me for the last hour as i make my nightly commute to NJ. These moments are the ones that make all the time on the bus worth it.